My New Weed Blog

Check Out My Cool Weed Blog HERE!

I’ll be more focused on my entrepreneurial endeavors until I can manage to have some more surgery.

Until then my posts on here will be much less frequent. I will blog eventually about my weight loss as the changes progress.

Love you guys and thanks for supporting!

Get High as You Scroll Through my New Page HERE

*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

Fatty McFatFat

Why am I fat again?

I originally looked like this before I started doing the Insanity workout in 2012.

These are also pics before my top surgery so bare with me.

I did all that work from 2012- 2014 to look like this…

I speak about my original weight loss here. My top surgery was completed by Dr. Weiss in NYC. I speak of that experience here.

Now in 2018 this is me..

That’s two different people there!

I am just in complete utter shock at how much weight I’ve gained.

I’ve been through the ringer in my life to this point since 2014. I’ve lost friends, lovers and my own self respect.

Just in December, I got hurt at work so this has limited me even further in the work that I can do. My diet was crap because I was so depressed with my lack of movement. I used food as a means to get pleasure when I was bored or stressed.

Now there’s Fatty McFatFat!

The next 60 days, I’m going to work on changing my life around. Getting arms and back definition is highly important to me as a man.

Things can’t stay the same!

Growth and progress forward is the only option.

On another note, I am currently messing around with the idea of a clothing line. It could be a great personal venture for me.

My clothing will be a way to present my individuality to the world.

This may even cause me to come out eventually and not live as a stealth transman.

I have to give even less fucks and do what I have to do. This could be my gold mine in disguise!

Just think of the possibilities!

Everyone has something unique about oneself. At times for me that’s the biggest thing I feel that sets me apart from others. Being a transgender male that is.

I am not ashamed of transitioning at all. That would be a pussy move.

Embracing my status internally has always worked for me. I may need to rethink some of my thoughts. I know my thinking originated from fear which I need to overcome to live my best life possible.

*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

2018: The Weed Monster Must Go!

After being sober for most of New Years Eve, I took like 5 pulls of a blunt before I went to church.

(I go to church to support my wife. Not really keen on the religion scene but everyone has the right to believe in what they want)

It was SOOO gratifying to just feel myself slowly being released from the WEED MONSTER. I heard Lil Scrappy mention the weed monster some years ago on an episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. He went to rehab to get a better grasp on his habit. It was hard to understand at first in my younger 20’s until I felt myself get hooked by it. There were so many mornings I woke up and couldn’t function without getting my wake and bake on.

It was FUN AS FUCK!

IT WAS A FUCKING ROLLER COASTER RIDE!

As I get older and wiser, I see how much I was consuming!

I notice how it could be a problem…

Along with any activities I did like going to school, beating off, (tmi I know lmao) hanging out with friends or even going to bed at night I had to smoke a blunt or 2.

I spent most of my 20’s with my Head in the Clouds….

I know to some that is horrible, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I learned so much. I was able to open and explore my mind beyond imagination.

As I get older though, I’m noticing my body ALOT more and how I function. I feel so foggy in the head when I wake up until I smoke. That’s NOT going to be my default feeling in the morning anymore. I am going to release myself from this demon and void in my heart.

I am going to smoke today but it will be on my terms. I smoke the weed not the other way around!

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Starting in 2006, I used weed to fill a gaping hole in my heart. It grew exponentially into this massive black hole that has left me with such anger along with strong emotions inside me.

This blog will help me forgive myself so I can become the great man I will grow into with my 30’s over the horizon. I am not afraid of old age but I embrace it. I do not miss being a young teenager with low self esteem trying to find myself. It was fun being young with the perfect immune system and strong bones that heal in a couple months though. I do miss that as my bones now ache on the daily like an old person. I wouldn’t change it for the world because it means life is still in my body.

*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

Smile Everyday!

I’m learning no matter what to be authentic and be 100% ME!
I realized that it has been a while since I spoke on my transition so here is an update:

  • I made 6 years 3 months on testosterone this month
  • I’ve actually grown some hair on my face! Most of it is on my chin and I have a visible mustache (WINNING!)
  • I take myself more seriously…as a man
  • I’m ridding myself of the extra emotional ways of the past. There’s no need to be so serious all the time…

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

     Ughh!!! What A Drag! 

    I was reading some of my old blogs….

              THEY WERE BORING!

    I SEE WHY no one would want to read those long ass passages. I’m also seeing why I was left out of a lot of shit coming up. 

    I tried so hard to not be an overbearing asshole like my parents….

    I forgot who I was and what I needed out of life. A little mixture of nice and asshole has led me to become a nasshole.

    Yea I know its a bit corny but let me explain…

    A little bit of both in life can save you time, money and heartbreak from all types of relationships. You will happily avoid all assholes, manipulators, and energy vampires.

    I have definitely learned my lesson to laugh at evil and keep it moving. NOTHING is worth the millions of dollars I’ll make in the future.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    When Demons Attract…

    It’s dark down there…
    Be careful or you might fall in with me…

    My demon has had time to manifest so much energy in my life. I know for a fact he’s been fucking these girls I’ve been with…
    He has a need that can’t be fulfilled easily…

    Internal pain is what I have shared with others in my short life. It felt oh so good to feed from that energy…into that nectar…so intoxicating…endless.

    It’s good to be bad.

    Until it overflows onto life…not just in the bed where the juices were spilled and sucked up. 

    That pussy was oh so good…

    Hitting raw…

    Cumming inside…

    Feeding on all that sexual energy…

    I will feel it again…

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.


     My Letter to Love Lost

    Dear Love Lost,

    Soul searching led me to write this to you. I have realized being the knight in shining armor was ABSOLUTE WRONG approach to keeping you. 

    I never learned from REAL MEN what exactly a MAN is. I learned out in the streets just as my male friends did…and from tv. 

    On a downward spiral this led me…to you. Now I can only blame myself for how I acted. I was not the best example of a person because I got sucked in. Just as deep as the void in my heart I had before we became 1…its left even emptier moreso now that you’re gone.

    I won’t be losing anymore love. My heart is shut to it…

    Vulnerability gets no respect…

    You put yourself out there to get hurt when being to nice.

    Life is a bitch but she won’t be to me anymore. Pain has made me darker. I don’t need anyone. I need more money. I won’t be going hard or showing anymore love to anyone.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.