Smile Everyday!

I’m learning no matter what to be authentic and be 100% ME!
I realized that it is been a while since I spoke on my transition so here is an update:

  • I made 6 years 3 months on testosterone this month 
  • I’ve actually grown some hair on my face! Most of it is on my chin and I have a visible mustache (Winning!)
  • I take myself more seriously…as a man
  • I’m ridding myself of the extra emotional ways of the past. There’s no need to be so serious all the time

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

     Ughh!!! What A Drag! 

    I was reading some of my old blogs….

              THEY WERE BORING!

    I SEE WHY no one would want to read those long ass passages. I’m also seeing why I was left out of a lot of shit coming up. 

    I tried so hard to not be an overbearing asshole like my parents….

    I forgot who I was and what I needed out of life. A little mixture of nice and asshole has led me to become a nasshole.

    Yea I know its a bit corny but let me explain…

    A little bit of both in life can save you time, money and heartbreak from all types of relationships. You will happily avoid all assholes, manipulators, and energy vampires.

    I have definitely learned my lesson to laugh at evil and keep it moving. NOTHING is worth the millions of dollars I’ll make in the future.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    When Demons Attract…

    It’s dark down there…
    Be careful or you might fall in with me…

    My demon has had time to manifest so much energy in my life. I know for a fact he’s been fucking these girls I’ve been with…
    He has a need that can’t be fulfilled easily…

    Internal pain is what I have shared with others in my short life. It felt oh so good to feed from that energy…into that nectar…so intoxicating…endless.

    It’s good to be bad.

    Until it overflows onto life…not just in the bed where the juices were spilled and sucked up. 

    That pussy was oh so good…

    Hitting raw…

    Cumming inside…

    Feeding on all that sexual energy…

    I will feel it again…

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.


    Reignited Passion

    Real estate professionals make a fuck load of money!

    I love this field so much!

     It’s that thing that ignites my fire. 

    I plan to use my passion to succeed in life. By the time I’m done building myself up, no one will recognize me. 100 percent work will be going into building ME up to success and financial freedom. Money is a tool they say…I say IT’S EVERYTHING. You get what you want with it. Money talks….IT’S TIME TO GET IT! 

    So many things will change.I’ll control my raging anger with a quick getaway or trip to the bank to make investments. 

    In terms of my transition, my bottom surgery will be done by the best. Only the best for me and my future Jimmy so…

    I need to get this money…

    $100,000 is what I need minimum to pay all cash for the surgery. Definitely going to figure this out. Along with the rest of life, it will get better with time just not to give a fuck.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    OMG! He’s Blogging Again

     

    I’m done writing long drawn out blogs feeling sorry for myself because people don’t give a fuck.

    FOR REAL THEY DON’T!

    No one really gives a fuck till it affects them personally. It’s ok though. It’s only human nature to be selfish in order to survive and thrive. I just had to learn this myself.

    Pain has encouraged my writing as of late. Keeping it raw and unedited gives me a chance to release all the negative energy on my heart.

    I don’t want any baggage that can hold me back anymore. Being completely authentic and laughing in the face of adversity will be my goals from now on. Life is to short to be serious all the time. I use to think I needed approval to make decisions in my life. I also looked to others for my happiness, which was terrible in my book. 

    Everything that’s come in my path I appreciate. I wouldn’t be me without them. I feel like life has given me a wake up call with the end of my relationship. I am not where I am supposed to be because of my actions and laziness. I met the woman who I feel regardless of her flaws is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I just wasn’t ready for her. Being overly emotional and not holding myself accountable for my mistakes has led me here.

    I flunked out of college the first time by my own wrongdoing. I lost my focus after my father passed away. It was hard for me to find the right path after he was called home.

     I was always told to do things and NEVER had to think for myself. This influences my thinking to this day. I am working on changing this to live the life that was meant for me. I’m working on saying “no” more and keeping myself happy.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Mindset

    “You ain’t worthy, you see my love, you don’t deserve it
    Can you take it, you can dish it, you can serve it, but when the tables turned on you, I’m wrong
    When every man deserves happiness hey, I’m a dog, when you’re the reason that it happened all along
    And I try to look past it, oh but its the, its the, its the things you do”

    https://youtu.be/c6GAL_RxbfA


    Oh I do so many things for you girl and still you wanna act a fool”

    Writing will be updated periodically. The song says enough for now.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Lightskin Chronicles 

    “Mama is a “saint”, yes she raised me real good
    All because of her I don’t do you like I should
    Don’t make me give you back to the hood
    Don’t make me give you back”

    Drake always in his feelings on his albums. Singing and getting all emotional and shit. I get it…we are both October scorpios so I understand all that gushy stuff. 

    Chris Brown is another example. Bugging the fuck out over a woman. They get you in your feelings like that. Leave it to the lightskin folk to get out of pocket.

    Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t so nice. My parents raised me to “treat others like you want to be treated.” Now my mother isn’t the easiest person to get to know or a saint but who is on this Earth? Once you get past the thick skin she has, everything is usually cool. She has been amazing when it comes to my transition. Her insurance paid for my top surgery which you can read about here. Dad on the other hand was a character and such a joy to be around. I was talking to an old friend the other day and he mentioned having “fond memories” of my father being a happy person. Oh how I could use the positive energy right now. 

    Anyway the point of this post is to explain my issue with being just a bit too nice and having an extremely big heart even when I shouldn’t. I’ve had some extremely fucked up shit happen to me. I wonder how these same people would react if I treated them the exact same way. Even when I feel like spazzing the fuck out, I’m learning to implement keeping it cool. I’ve been told I have an attitude and an anger problem which I don’t dispute. Only when I feel i’m being provoked do I go that route. I do not take disrespect too nicely. Very rarely have I shown this side of me to people. You really have to keep pushing my buttons for me to bug out. I take quite a beating before I start going off. The little things add up to me. I don’t like pettyness and people who have the inability to listen. This really grinds my gears. This is because I consider myself a very good listener and I work very hard at this skill to prevent miscommunication. My old theater program had us listen to the life stories of everyone in the cast. It was an exercise to strengthen this much needed skill that I use to focus in class now. 

    https://youtu.be/pKEh8SezV08

    Formally known as City at Peace NY, this program is where I first started to fully express myself as a “stud.” I would wear all masculine clothing, and dated a “feminine” female. This is how I prefer my women to be. The cast would make frequent trips to the village and hang out. The village in NYC is considered very “LGBT” friendly and this is the spot to go if you want to express pride in your rainbow affiliation. After 16 years, I finally started to feel like I could present myself as me. We would be together for many nights after school and weekends for 8 months out of the year. 4 years I stayed in the program. I do not regret it. I made many friends who I still speak with once in a while to this very day. 


    I bring up the program now known as “The Possibility Project” because I feel it saved my life by keeping me off the street during my transition from teen to young adult. A nice chuck of my patience and ability to deal with different types of people come from here so I am eternally grateful. My parents have WAY LESS patience then I do. I praise the program for my over abundance of empathy. Having great mentors around me in tune with themselves was a blessing. 


    I’m a big believer in things happening in sync. Today I’m posting my 113th post on 3/11. I have also had the “pleasure” of working at 311 this past summer. I would’ve still been there but I left on my own. It didn’t fit into my school schedule at all. I needed that extra study time. Anyway I’m hoping the universe will give me a sign of something today. It needs to be big. Thanks for reading.

    “I just wanna let you know that someone love you back
    All the Cadillac, like I’m Teddy Pendergrass
    Whippin’ on this shit I’m getting ready, where you at?
    Riding…”

    (I UPLOADED THE POST AT 3:11 AM)

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.