All I wanted from you was peace.
For my soul to finally be at rest. This crazy world out here really drains my energy. In you, I looked for solitide.
I’m starting to see I can’t find that with you no matter how hard I try.
It was supposed to be me and you against the world. Instead I feel like in your eyes you see me vs you.
I saw my shining star. I went with my heart…and now I’m left torn ever more into pieces because now I’m starting to feel it wasn’t real. Love can’t be real.
When you love hard, you can hate just as much in reverse. It’s a really thin line between the two emotions. I see that now as I can feel in my heart, hate for love.
Love seems all like a dream. It was never my reality. Love was an escape from my day to day rituals and deserting friends.
Do I really know what love is or do I confuse it with attachment/codependency?
(If you don’t know what codependency is take a look at it’s meaning here. I may write a blog about it because this is something that have been struggling with in my life for as long as I can go back in my mind. The topic can get quite extensive so look out for the blog link for that here.)
I think of the moment love gave me my ring back. Feeling like cement bricks in my hand, but pulling down on my heart. There’s no more left to give. I feel depleted.
I’m not saying I was the best to you either love. I am not right now the best me I can be. My heart has been kicked around by many people making me even more sensitive to shit that people do.
We are both not ready for each other.
I don’t think love understood how I really felt so I wrote my feelings down. It’s the best way I know how to communicate as this the first way I really knew how.
Anyway maybe later in life, love and I will come across each other again to fulfill the great destiny we shared together.
If not…well…we spent some great times together. I’ll keep a piece of you with me forever as I live out the rest my days that I wanted to spend with you.
*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.
*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.