Smile Everyday!

I’m learning no matter what to be authentic and be 100% ME!
I realized that it is been a while since I spoke on my transition so here is an update:

  • I made 6 years 3 months on testosterone this month 
  • I’ve actually grown some hair on my face! Most of it is on my chin and I have a visible mustache (Winning!)
  • I take myself more seriously…as a man
  • I’m ridding myself of the extra emotional ways of the past. There’s no need to be so serious all the time

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

     My Letter to Love Lost

    Dear Love Lost,

    Soul searching led me to write this to you. I have realized being the knight in shining armor was ABSOLUTE WRONG approach to keeping you. 

    I never learned from REAL MEN what exactly a MAN is. I learned out in the streets just as my male friends did…and from tv. 

    On a downward spiral this led me…to you. Now I can only blame myself for how I acted. I was not the best example of a person because I got sucked in. Just as deep as the void in my heart I had before we became 1…its left even emptier moreso now that you’re gone.

    I won’t be losing anymore love. My heart is shut to it…

    Vulnerability gets no respect…

    You put yourself out there to get hurt when being to nice.

    Life is a bitch but she won’t be to me anymore. Pain has made me darker. I don’t need anyone. I need more money. I won’t be going hard or showing anymore love to anyone.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Reignited Passion

    Real estate professionals make a fuck load of money!

    I love this field so much!

     It’s that thing that ignites my fire. 

    I plan to use my passion to succeed in life. By the time I’m done building myself up, no one will recognize me. 100 percent work will be going into building ME up to success and financial freedom. Money is a tool they say…I say IT’S EVERYTHING. You get what you want with it. Money talks….IT’S TIME TO GET IT! 

    So many things will change.I’ll control my raging anger with a quick getaway or trip to the bank to make investments. 

    In terms of my transition, my bottom surgery will be done by the best. Only the best for me and my future Jimmy so…

    I need to get this money…

    $100,000 is what I need minimum to pay all cash for the surgery. Definitely going to figure this out. Along with the rest of life, it will get better with time just not to give a fuck.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    OMG! He’s Blogging Again

     

    I’m done writing long drawn out blogs feeling sorry for myself because people don’t give a fuck.

    FOR REAL THEY DON’T!

    No one really gives a fuck till it affects them personally. It’s ok though. It’s only human nature to be selfish in order to survive and thrive. I just had to learn this myself.

    Pain has encouraged my writing as of late. Keeping it raw and unedited gives me a chance to release all the negative energy on my heart.

    I don’t want any baggage that can hold me back anymore. Being completely authentic and laughing in the face of adversity will be my goals from now on. Life is to short to be serious all the time. I use to think I needed approval to make decisions in my life. I also looked to others for my happiness, which was terrible in my book. 

    Everything that’s come in my path I appreciate. I wouldn’t be me without them. I feel like life has given me a wake up call with the end of my relationship. I am not where I am supposed to be because of my actions and laziness. I met the woman who I feel regardless of her flaws is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I just wasn’t ready for her. Being overly emotional and not holding myself accountable for my mistakes has led me here.

    I flunked out of college the first time by my own wrongdoing. I lost my focus after my father passed away. It was hard for me to find the right path after he was called home.

     I was always told to do things and NEVER had to think for myself. This influences my thinking to this day. I am working on changing this to live the life that was meant for me. I’m working on saying “no” more and keeping myself happy.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Mindset

    “You ain’t worthy, you see my love, you don’t deserve it
    Can you take it, you can dish it, you can serve it, but when the tables turned on you, I’m wrong
    When every man deserves happiness hey, I’m a dog, when you’re the reason that it happened all along
    And I try to look past it, oh but its the, its the, its the things you do”

    https://youtu.be/c6GAL_RxbfA


    Oh I do so many things for you girl and still you wanna act a fool”

    Writing will be updated periodically. The song says enough for now.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    “The Good Guy”

    Now I’m not writing this post knocking my boy Stevie J. I respect him as a real artist who can definitely play an multitude of instruments. 

    Stevie and I share a couple of qualities. He is a Scorpio like myself who is hungry to be better then he was yesterday. He makes a gazillion mistakes on a daily basis but he makes up for it by trying to come out stronger and better. Watching the show, you see he gets into many Entrepreneurial endeavors. This includes partnering up with Benzino to open a restaurant and having a pre-workout supplement called “Danger Zone” that’s for sale right now. I plan on giving it a try once my money becomes a bit more stable. 

    I love to work out and I am inspired by him to get my body even tighter than it was at my peak. First I’m going to be doing the “Insanity” workout to drop some weight. Next it will be the muscle gain. I hope to follow at least in those footsteps of his with the exercise and hustle. On the other hand, we also have a bad habit of attracting not so nice women into our lives.

    Joseline you could see was trouble from the start. She got with him while he was in a relationship with his baby mother Mimi. They denied any claims of being together even with all the excessive flirting and inappropriate things they were doing in the public and behind closed doors. During the course of their union, he played with her and she played back doing inexcusable things. Current news is she is supposed to be pregnant with his baby on the show. I do not think she was actually pregnant regardless of what was shown on the opening episode. I think it was all fake right along with Beyoncé s pregnancy with Blue Ivy but that’s for another post. 

    Now here’s where we differ…

    I was binge watching the older seasons of the show before it came back on last night and I couldn’t help but notice how bad he is with women. This dude is not loyal at all! First there was Mimi, a baby mama to one of his daughters whose also a 20 year friend. He bought a family home for the 3 of them to live in the suburbs. As a music producer, he did most of his work in the studio in the city area where he also acquired an apartment for him to stay in on his late nights. Joseline was one of his artists at first. Since he has a bad habit of mixing business with pleasure, they ended up messing around. 

    They would go to the extra apartment he had to have their sexual rendevous. As of right now, they aren’t together on the show. During the season break, he had a spinoff called “Leave It To Stevie.”

    During the course of the show you saw him level up in the lady department with one of his longtime friends. He had a chance to date Faith Evans. Now this was a big step up from what he usually attracts. She was a real woman. I don’t feel like Faith would go out of her way to hurt him and play games like immature Joseline. She was graceful with it and I appreciate that about her. Grinding and level headed, I feel that’s what he needs from a wife. I take this advice into account for myself because now after all of the heartache, I know what I don’t want to become and who I dont want to marry. I want peace and stability in my life.

    I’ve been buying some sage along with this other root to bring positive energy into my life and I suggest that Stevie J do the same. Some people don’t mature just with age, it takes experiences. Hopefully Stevie will stay faithful to the right woman. I feel when you find the one”, it will all work out in your favor and things will fall into place. If it’s not meant to be it won’t. Thanks for reading. 

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.


    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    “Dont Save Her…She Don’t Wanna Be Saved”

    I have come to the conclusion that you can’t force anyone in life to do something. They have to make the decision within themselves to take action. The only real control I have in my life are the choices I make. Sometimes my emotions can get the best of me and I get in my feelings. This is me. I am a highly emotional being who has an attitude. When my bullshit detector goes off, I tend to get out of character. What I need to learn is how to better control my emotions to make better decisions. While I know this, I just can’t figure out how to do it.

    As I go towards my 30th birthday, my perspective on life is changing quite drastically. I don’t want drama in my life anymore. I like peace and quiet. An old soul I believe myself to be. I just want to lay up and enjoy people and their company while shooting the breeze. 

    I was watching Lottery Ticket and I started imagining how it would feel to be free. I don’t think my road to riches will be all that simple though. My ride up the ladder will be through Real Estate. I know this is what I want to do. I’ve been looking into programs at various schools for after I graduate from undergrad. In time the pieces will come together.


    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.


    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.