Smile Everyday!

I’m learning no matter what to be authentic and be 100% ME!
I realized that it is been a while since I spoke on my transition so here is an update:

  • I made 6 years 3 months on testosterone this month 
  • I’ve actually grown some hair on my face! Most of it is on my chin and I have a visible mustache (Winning!)
  • I take myself more seriously…as a man
  • I’m ridding myself of the extra emotional ways of the past. There’s no need to be so serious all the time

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

     Ughh!!! What A Drag! 

    I was reading some of my old blogs….

              THEY WERE BORING!

    I SEE WHY no one would want to read those long ass passages. I’m also seeing why I was left out of a lot of shit coming up. 

    I tried so hard to not be an overbearing asshole like my parents….

    I forgot who I was and what I needed out of life. A little mixture of nice and asshole has led me to become a nasshole.

    Yea I know its a bit corny but let me explain…

    A little bit of both in life can save you time, money and heartbreak from all types of relationships. You will happily avoid all assholes, manipulators, and energy vampires.

    I have definitely learned my lesson to laugh at evil and keep it moving. NOTHING is worth the millions of dollars I’ll make in the future.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

     My Letter to Love Lost

    Dear Love Lost,

    Soul searching led me to write this to you. I have realized being the knight in shining armor was ABSOLUTE WRONG approach to keeping you. 

    I never learned from REAL MEN what exactly a MAN is. I learned out in the streets just as my male friends did…and from tv. 

    On a downward spiral this led me…to you. Now I can only blame myself for how I acted. I was not the best example of a person because I got sucked in. Just as deep as the void in my heart I had before we became 1…its left even emptier moreso now that you’re gone.

    I won’t be losing anymore love. My heart is shut to it…

    Vulnerability gets no respect…

    You put yourself out there to get hurt when being to nice.

    Life is a bitch but she won’t be to me anymore. Pain has made me darker. I don’t need anyone. I need more money. I won’t be going hard or showing anymore love to anyone.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Reignited Passion

    Real estate professionals make a fuck load of money!

    I love this field so much!

     It’s that thing that ignites my fire. 

    I plan to use my passion to succeed in life. By the time I’m done building myself up, no one will recognize me. 100 percent work will be going into building ME up to success and financial freedom. Money is a tool they say…I say IT’S EVERYTHING. You get what you want with it. Money talks….IT’S TIME TO GET IT! 

    So many things will change.I’ll control my raging anger with a quick getaway or trip to the bank to make investments. 

    In terms of my transition, my bottom surgery will be done by the best. Only the best for me and my future Jimmy so…

    I need to get this money…

    $100,000 is what I need minimum to pay all cash for the surgery. Definitely going to figure this out. Along with the rest of life, it will get better with time just not to give a fuck.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Mindset

    “You ain’t worthy, you see my love, you don’t deserve it
    Can you take it, you can dish it, you can serve it, but when the tables turned on you, I’m wrong
    When every man deserves happiness hey, I’m a dog, when you’re the reason that it happened all along
    And I try to look past it, oh but its the, its the, its the things you do”

    https://youtu.be/c6GAL_RxbfA


    Oh I do so many things for you girl and still you wanna act a fool”

    Writing will be updated periodically. The song says enough for now.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    “The Good Guy”

    Now I’m not writing this post knocking my boy Stevie J. I respect him as a real artist who can definitely play an multitude of instruments. 

    Stevie and I share a couple of qualities. He is a Scorpio like myself who is hungry to be better then he was yesterday. He makes a gazillion mistakes on a daily basis but he makes up for it by trying to come out stronger and better. Watching the show, you see he gets into many Entrepreneurial endeavors. This includes partnering up with Benzino to open a restaurant and having a pre-workout supplement called “Danger Zone” that’s for sale right now. I plan on giving it a try once my money becomes a bit more stable. 

    I love to work out and I am inspired by him to get my body even tighter than it was at my peak. First I’m going to be doing the “Insanity” workout to drop some weight. Next it will be the muscle gain. I hope to follow at least in those footsteps of his with the exercise and hustle. On the other hand, we also have a bad habit of attracting not so nice women into our lives.

    Joseline you could see was trouble from the start. She got with him while he was in a relationship with his baby mother Mimi. They denied any claims of being together even with all the excessive flirting and inappropriate things they were doing in the public and behind closed doors. During the course of their union, he played with her and she played back doing inexcusable things. Current news is she is supposed to be pregnant with his baby on the show. I do not think she was actually pregnant regardless of what was shown on the opening episode. I think it was all fake right along with Beyoncé s pregnancy with Blue Ivy but that’s for another post. 

    Now here’s where we differ…

    I was binge watching the older seasons of the show before it came back on last night and I couldn’t help but notice how bad he is with women. This dude is not loyal at all! First there was Mimi, a baby mama to one of his daughters whose also a 20 year friend. He bought a family home for the 3 of them to live in the suburbs. As a music producer, he did most of his work in the studio in the city area where he also acquired an apartment for him to stay in on his late nights. Joseline was one of his artists at first. Since he has a bad habit of mixing business with pleasure, they ended up messing around. 

    They would go to the extra apartment he had to have their sexual rendevous. As of right now, they aren’t together on the show. During the season break, he had a spinoff called “Leave It To Stevie.”

    During the course of the show you saw him level up in the lady department with one of his longtime friends. He had a chance to date Faith Evans. Now this was a big step up from what he usually attracts. She was a real woman. I don’t feel like Faith would go out of her way to hurt him and play games like immature Joseline. She was graceful with it and I appreciate that about her. Grinding and level headed, I feel that’s what he needs from a wife. I take this advice into account for myself because now after all of the heartache, I know what I don’t want to become and who I dont want to marry. I want peace and stability in my life.

    I’ve been buying some sage along with this other root to bring positive energy into my life and I suggest that Stevie J do the same. Some people don’t mature just with age, it takes experiences. Hopefully Stevie will stay faithful to the right woman. I feel when you find the one”, it will all work out in your favor and things will fall into place. If it’s not meant to be it won’t. Thanks for reading. 

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.


    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    The Good Guy Always Loses…

    I can talk for days on this topic and I plan on doing just that here (lol)I start with my experiences growing up around some of my male friends. My closest friends are cisgender. Cisgender means that they identify with their gender from birth. I was around a very interesting group of individuals. We would spend most of our summers together along with my brother from another mother attending high school with me for 2 years. I was exposed to heightened masculinity at its finest. We talked about “smuts, slides, and hoes” daily as this is what females were frequently called by the people around me. Girls were getting “popped off” on the regular. I never made any judgments of my friends. I attributed it to the testosterone coursing through their veins. The over sexualized hip hop culture that we grew up to love I believe had a part as well. I would see them pick up girls and toss them to the side usually with no feelings after the interaction. This is the very same thing I saw in the MTV show Jersey Shore the other day.

    I was never an avid watcher of the show when it was actually on but I love it now. There were countless episodes with Pauly D and The Situation asking women “You DTF?” There is one particular comment from Pauly D’s mouth that really stuck with me. He said “It’s Saturday, we don’t have time to waste. If they not DTF I’m moving to the next.” Dude would have chicks on backup in case one didn’t show. He had numerous women flocking to him and was an asshole most of the time. Now “DTF” for people might not ring a bell. It means “down to f@€#.” These guys were praised for their attitude and it was attributed to just being guys huh? The world is so assed backwards at times. 

    During the second season, Angelina was dating a guy named José. He was taking her out on dates and courting her. Even showing up to her job in a suit to give her a gift, he was the man girls dream of. 

    Charming and sweet, he wanted to sweep her off her feet. When his birthday came after numerous dates and bonding, he was still not able to have sex with her. Giving a female gifts is not a prerequisite for sex, I know this. It just happens that she was an open whore on the side. 

    Vinny (pictured above) was one of her roommates who disrespected her on a daily basis and even nicknamed her the “Staten Island Dump.” Guess which one of these guys got the goodies? 

    It just goes to show you that it doesn’t always hurt to be bad. It does hurt in the long run though. Girls dig it in the beginning until they get played and then they ask “where are all the real men?” Well you over looked him for the asshole who you thought was better for you. Thanks for reading guys.

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.


    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.