“Dont Save Her…She Don’t Wanna Be Saved”

I have come to the conclusion that you can’t force anyone in life to do something. They have to make the decision within themselves to take action. The only real control I have in my life are the choices I make. Sometimes my emotions can get the best of me and I get in my feelings. This is me. I am a highly emotional being who has an attitude. When my bullshit detector goes off, I tend to get out of character. What I need to learn is how to better control my emotions to make better decisions. While I know this, I just can’t figure out how to do it.

As I go towards my 30th birthday, my perspective on life is changing quite drastically. I don’t want drama in my life anymore. I like peace and quiet. An old soul I believe myself to be. I just want to lay up and enjoy people and their company while shooting the breeze. 

I was watching Lottery Ticket and I started imagining how it would feel to be free. I don’t think my road to riches will be all that simple though. My ride up the ladder will be through Real Estate. I know this is what I want to do. I’ve been looking into programs at various schools for after I graduate from undergrad. In time the pieces will come together.


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Just Do It!

I wake up everyday yearning to be a real estate investor. I know I have found my love as this is something I will be able to do with so much excitement involved. Real estate to me is life. I am beginning a habit of reading at least 1 post about it everyday instead of wasting my time on Facebook. I speak on my prior Facebook Addiction here. The goal is to accumulate as many multifamily complexes as I can in the NY area. This will take time of course as I have big decisions to make. I  thought about leaving school for awhile so I can get full time employment. This will make it possible and much easier to secure a bank loan to start acquiring properties. I then thought again about how amazing the lawyer from Sullivan & Cromwell was to me when I was going through my name change process. I want to be able to return the favor and pay it forward to other transgender individuals who may be intimidated by the court system. I had no idea how I was going to navigate the process of changing my name. I know people who have done completely fine without one but I must say it was more convenient for him to do all the work while I just showed up to the court and saw the judge. The judge was a woman who gave me some more credibility with the attorney present. 

Another thing that peaked my interest today was the salary a lawyer can achieve by working at this top law firm. According to the “Above the Law” website, a starting associate will rake in the bucks up to $180,000. After about 9 years the increases of your salary will be up to around $345,000. I can look at some very nice houses with that salary to back me up. They do hire attorneys just for the corporate real estate that they help businesses or wealthy people to purchase. A good way to become a real estate investor I feel is to learn the laws behind it. This will be a great way to get some income on the side while I build up a healthy pension as an attorney. The average millionaire has 7 income streams so I’m building it up slowly.

I have always had an interest in the field. Somehow over the years I can recall going to those “training” events at hotels that they have to try to recruit trainees. I get it…the information doesn’t come free. For now I learn most of the information I know from reading on my own and one of my professors. She is a Real Estate attorney/entrepreneur. She has owned her own business and knows how to read the market. A former student of hers was able to buy property with a little advice from her to make the transaction go accordingly. The home was renovated and is now being rented out to tenants. Now I know it’s not as simple as it sounds or everyone would do it.  Tarek from the show “Flip or Flop” has a saying that classifies real estate in a nutshell. “Big Risks, Big Rewards”. I plan on putting the puzzle pieces together very soon to fulfill my destiny of achieving the true happiness of freedom. 

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Da Ganja…Mary Jane Diariez

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(Cough cough)
Im floating…high above the clouds…soaring…flying…Mary wont let me go.

I can’t go a day without thinking about making it big. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars” I’ve been told. I see myself traveling to Amsterdam. That would be one of the first places I hit. I’d be all in the coffee shops with a native of course smoking my weed till my eyes can’t open.

That’s one thing that I don’t hide from people that know me personally. I love some good ganja. It can get me in the zone. I’ve had sessions with Mary Jane and watched real estate seminars online, along with working out. I’ll smoke a blunt and do a rigorous session of Insanity and before a pull up session. You can see proof of my hard work here. I have yet to have this drug affect my life negatively or have a time which I could not focus or function properly. It’s just hard to completely kick the habit for these jobs I will eventually want. It’s something that I like to do like video games. It’s one of my favorite past times. I’ve seen mostly lower paying, city and/or blue collar jobs with drug testing. I look at many law firms and white collar careers that I would love to work for in the future not require one. What’s up with that? Are these jobs not coveted by job seekers?I believe the issue is the class system at play again. If you can afford to go to school to work in these positions there is no need to test you. If you are from a working class background, this barrier is present. It is this level of unfairness that keeps many qualified people out of work just because we prefer an herbal stress reliever after a long day. I’m only speaking for the potheads out there.

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I’ve been saying I’d vote for Bernie Sanders if he ends up running for President. His trump card in this for me is Marijuana Legelization.

I’ll write more in depth about him next time I’m online. Thanks for reading.

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Unwavering Focus

 ”You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”- Harold Hill

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I have been really buckling down and getting my school work done. I like going to school as I am around other people with hopes and dreams like myself. I’ve met some pretty intelligent people the last couple of weeks. I do have one complaint about the public education system. I was in my communications class which I’m taking to better myself and my public speaking abilities. The class was selected by me because I was told it will help with my business presentation. I want to able to talk to people and sell houses and products. I expressed my entrepreneurial goals with her to be told “that’s not appropriate for the class”. She was training us to work for someone else.That turned me off for awhile and I began to zone out. “Is this really what she wants us to do?” As I listened to her resume, I knew I was talking to the wrong person about business mentoring. I told her it could be her way now but when I leave that class I’m doing me. I really wanted to take an entrepreneur class but I would need to change my major again. I just went into legal studies this semester so I have to focus on that. After I get this degree then I can go back and take the class. I’m planning on becoming a real estate paralegal so I can learn the legal aspects of owning property and use this to my advantage. The more knowledge I have the better.

In terms of today, I’m feeling good now. I wasn’t having the best morning so I went out and blew off some steam. I worked out so I’m feeling strong. I ran into a cool guy I know on his way to an interview and it gave me so much positive energy. I love people who are hustlers and hard workers. It kept me from getting lazy today. I did some quick work at the library on my cover letter and watched a real estate webinar titled “8 FREE/Dirt cheap marketing strategies to get motivated sellers calling you to sell their homes at a DEEP discount” by Nick Ruiz which you can find here. I learned quite a bit on how to do these deals and signed up for another on Thursday night. Im on the letter “p” so far in the real estate index so I’m working to realize my dream of financial freedom. I want an 8 figure net worth. I’m focused and looking to make my next move.
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Dysphoria

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I had to take a break from all that homework. Geez I forgot the workload associated with full time college work. Last semester I was working while going part time till I was laid off. That was the ultimate game changer right there. I decided to myself that I have to work towards being my own boss. In between all of this I am looking for any means to getting my bottom surgery done. I NEED IT NOW! I think about it every day no lie. Its hard for most people I know to fully understand because well it’s not an everyday issue for the “average person”. When I go to the bathroom I’m comfortable with my presentation. It’s the thoughts of “what if I leak today or drop the packer?” That always seem to cross my mind. Intimacy is a story in itself. I want to feel a woman. I have been talking to my cisgender male friends about stuff I should look forward to and I’m looking to dive right in something. I hope to be in a relationship by the time I have my bottom surgery so I can just jump in full speed ahead. I am already set in going to Dr. Crane in California. He is opening up a new spot in Dallas as well so I’ll fly there if need be. I know I need insurance to go see him as the procedure can go well over $100,000 for all of the stages plus the erectile device. My original post about my expectations of this surgery can be found here. I plan on using an AMS Spectra because I’ll be able to pump up when needed and deflate during business hours. That would help my mental state immensely. I’ve read in places that the pump was for older guys and thought that was so until I went to the Philly Conference. The men who have the pump say its great for rigorous action and can last a long time. If anything, I could switch out and get a mallable rod later if I wear out the device too fast. With the rod it can be hard to tame your bits as you will always be semi hard. I know having the rod is not an issue for me because I know how to pack but this is not my preference at this time.

I know there will always be internal issues for me because of “limitations” I’ll have even after surgery. It’s how you deal with the cards you have been dealt but it can be downright depressing sometimes. I want to get a girl pregnant. I’ve really been wanting kids lately. This may be that “biological clock” going off in my head and it’s hard to ignore. I want my little mini me already! I’m mentally ready but not financially. I can’t procreate but I can discipline. I’m looking to pursue adoption if I’m not in a relationship after surgery. I know that’s extremely hard to do being single but its possible so I will try. I know I’ll be a great father if not a good husband to a woman out there whose willing to accept all my baggage. I’m emotional at times and I like attention. I’ve been heartbroken and it’s hard for me to trust. I go through my moments of weakness and would like it if I had a partner who could pick up the pieces. My highs and lows fluctuate with these hormones at times. She needs to be my biggest cheerleader when I don’t believe in myself. I consider myself to be a strong black male and I’m content with being solo but I’m human. I get weak sometimes. Sighs I’m off to go do some retail therapy. I’m sure that will help bring my self esteem up.

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Riding The Wave

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I’m just listening to my share of soft music today. “95 Like Dat” by Tyga was on repeat like it has been for the last week. It samples from “Hey Lover” by LL Cool another favorite of mine when I’m having a “lightskin” moment. This is when I’m looking to just to lay up with a woman, rub her body down and travel to places we’ve never been with our minds and bodies. Enjoying the tender and soft caress of a real lady. Eye contact and confidence is extremely important while the intensity is rising. Till the sudden crash as we both hold on tight and ride the wave together until it settles. I swear a woman can turn my mind out. Especially the thick ladies nowadays. I can’t explain my love for a woman with a lil’ extra cushion. As long as you classy with it though.

My aura and energy has been so much lighter with my new found conditions. It feels like so much pressure has been relieved. It’s just confusing because I think I know for sure what I want but I’m going to test the waters a bit with this lifestyle. We shall see what life has in store for me.

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Where Did Suites Go?

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I’ve never had many issues with T-Mobile but I was pissed with them last night. I had no service in my house for 12 hours. You want to talk about upset? I usually write my blogs and check Facebook/Instagram on my cell phone because it’s just easier to maintain for me so you know I was tight. As they said when I called today, I have been a loyal customer for some years now. So to rectify the situation, they gave me 7 extra days on my bill cycle. I’m quite satisfied with the customer service today as the young lady did everything she could to help me. As someone who is looking to operate their own business in the future, I know things like this cause a loss to their profits but I’m sure it won’t hurt them long term.

I have made some new friends in the last couple of days. It feels very refreshing to have people who are goal oriented to talk too. It has uplifted my spirit in a lot of ways. When I talk to people who bring fresh ideas and dreams of their own, it energizes my batteries to want to progress. I was worried about miniscule issues but I am no longer. I need to focus on my career and business goals. Those things can buy me freedom. I know as long as I prosper in those places in my life, love will thrive when it is supposed too. The things I’m worried about also don’t make any sense. I’m not going to allow myself to get in my feelings over little things that don’t matter. I’ve realized those things are distractions to keep me away from my destiny. The devil will not stand in my way with his barriers to my paradise. This will be one of my shorter post because I’m dedicating today to making a dent in this real estate index. I hope everyone has a good week.

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