Smile Everyday!

I’m learning no matter what to be authentic and be 100% ME!
I realized that it is been a while since I spoke on my transition so here is an update:

  • I made 6 years 3 months on testosterone this month 
  • I’ve actually grown some hair on my face! Most of it is on my chin and I have a visible mustache (Winning!)
  • I take myself more seriously…as a man
  • I’m ridding myself of the extra emotional ways of the past. There’s no need to be so serious all the time

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    When Demons Attract…

    It’s dark down there…
    Be careful or you might fall in with me…

    My demon has had time to manifest so much energy in my life. I know for a fact he’s been fucking these girls I’ve been with…
    He has a need that can’t be fulfilled easily…

    Internal pain is what I have shared with others in my short life. It felt oh so good to feed from that energy…into that nectar…so intoxicating…endless.

    It’s good to be bad.

    Until it overflows onto life…not just in the bed where the juices were spilled and sucked up. 

    That pussy was oh so good…

    Hitting raw…

    Cumming inside…

    Feeding on all that sexual energy…

    I will feel it again…

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.


    The Hottest Love Has the Coldest End

    It was like the greatest high I ever felt…then you crash back down to the Earth. Harder then before…your heart is heavy from all the pain. I’ve been letting myself feel my emotions as of late. I cried today while listening to music. I want so bad to just have someone who won’t give up on me. A person who can be empathetic to my mistakes. One day I hope to be someone’s husband and baby father. Security is what I’m searching for now in my life. I don’t want to be around anything that doesn’t bring the best out of me at all times. I’m just tired of fighting. Seems like shit is always to the extreme and it’s pissing me off. I’m in my feelings right now and my mind is all over the place. I don’t know what to do. 

    I don’t want love right now. The shit hurts too damn bad. I don’t want the emotions and everything that comes with it. 

    I do miss the look in her eye when she tells me “I love you”. Holding her waist ever so gently and pulling her close meant the world to me. With those hips I saw one who could bear my seed and we raise them up together.  I would imagine a star studded wedding with me waiting for her down the aisle. I would see that white gown and tear up as I saw her coming towards me. I would tell her the vows that I wrote and hold her hand. Pulling the veil up to kiss those soft lips.  She becoming my Queen and I her King. I kneel before my bride and kiss her hand. I do believe now that all that was a dream. 

    I hate feeling like I was set up. All she saw was herself. I hate how life flashes what I want in my face like some kind of a joke. I saw perfection while she saw deception. 


    [Jhene Aiko – Chorus]
    “You had to change up the game
    Oh the weather is not the same
    Now there’s only cloudy days
    I can’t stand the rain in July
    Oh July
    There were fireworks exploding (exploding)
    But now it’s getting colder
    The leaves are turning colors
    Why, it’s just not our season
    The one and only reason
    Baby oh baby oh
    Our summer turned into fall

    [Drake – Verse 2]
    Damn, tell me where did all the magic go
    I followed all the rules and told you everything you had to know
    Had you over every night, every night was passionate
    Plus you met my mother even if it was an accident
    I’m confused tell me where we go wrong
    I was sure that I would be with you so long
    I was planning on this being something worth mentioning
    Energy invested in someone I saw potential in
    Who killed Chivalry they need to get their sentencing
    Meanwhile we arguing and I can’t get a sentence in
    And just as I predicted here we go again
    They always say the hottest love has the coldest end

    [Chorus]

    [Jhene Aiko]
    See its funny ’cause I never thought this would end but then the season changed
    [Drake]
    You were my, you were my, you were my girl (I was your girl)
    Should’ve made, should’ve made, should’ve made you my World
    Should’ve made you everything to make you happy baby
    [Jhene Aiko]
    Can’t wait for, can’t wait for, can’t wait for springtime
    And I will turn into a butterfly
    I will spread my wings and fly


    https://youtu.be/G7m8dfVWLc8

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.


    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

    Facebook Addiction

    Hi..My name is Suites and I have a Facebook Addiction. Coming to terms with this was very hard. It’s something that I had to sit down and ponder about. When my mind had nothing else to wonder about I would find myself scrolling down my Facebook timeline for minutes on end, feeding my energy into this powerful entity. I regard it as such a thing because of the amount of control it has on people’s daily lives. Life had landed me with a number of future opportunities to work for the city. All of these employment orientations have led me to giving up my social media identities for them to look at before they hire me. The importance this website has on my future is paramount. I do not want to make this a staple of my time on Earth. 

    It has been about a week since I deactivated my Facebook account. On the first day, to my surprise I felt very anxious. I would pick up my phone with many thoughts including going back to Facebook and calming my nerves. Ignoring these feeling I went on to do many things including:

    • Worked out more often
    • Read real estate articles
    • Spent more time living outside of the phone screen

     The list goes on with the things I did with my newfound minutes each day. I still do have my Instagram account and post quotes once in a while but it is not something I spend a lot of my time on. I choose not to have a Snap chat or other accounts because these things are a time waster in my opinion. 

    I think of the simple times before all of the electronic devices and the Internet. The 90’s into the 2000’s were some of the best years of my life. It just happened to be during the time when the Internet and cell phones were brand new and not very relevant to everyday life. I imagined my timeline during the Super Bowl game and felt very blessed to be able to enjoy the moments of watching the game and not caring about the “likes” on my post. I really don’t give a damn about people’s opinions any longer.

    Like any addiction this will take time to get completely off of my mind though. I will not say that I don’t get weak sometimes. I’m human and I make so many damn mistakes but then I wake up the next day a new man with new choices to make. One day I’ll be reveling in the success that I deserve to have. I have to put it out into universe to create for me so I’m claiming everything I want in life to be mine. 

    *If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

    *If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.