Stepping Stones To My Destiny…

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It has now been 21 days since I’ve had my hysterectomy. So far I have nothing interesting to report. Just taking it easy till my 6 weeks of recovery are over. I’m trying to follow the doctors orders as she drilled the rules into my head a couple days ago. I’m bugging out because everything I do to release stress, I am banned from it. I so look forward to working out again. I miss it so much! That is one thing that kept my mind right and my body tight. Coming from a life of always being overweight, I was just getting to a place where I was content with my body. Then with this surgery and knee issues ive been at a stand still when it comes to my fitness. You can look at my weight loss journey here in a previous entry. I am not able to masterbate, receive oral or have any sex for that matter because of the hidden stiches. They could be popped from internal muscle contractions which could lead to major surgery to repair my insides and more time to heal. I’m horny as hell and ready to get down with my baby. My wife was told “if you think it’s sexy, you can’t do it”. I can tell you that crushed my hopes and dreams of getting off and relieving these hormones.

I see the hysterectomy procedure as a “means to an end”. Getting an ALT phalloplasty is the ultimate goal. Law enforcement may be the way I’ll be taking to get there. I know for a fact if I can get employment going this route, my surgery will get covered in full. I’ll do back flips and cartwheels the day I can wake up, (without pain!) to my completed penis that I can use to urinate outside and penetrate a woman. You can check out the full breakdown of what I want from bottom surgery here. Writing my name in the snow is on my growing bucket list. Along with penetrating a woman…my wife preferably…it doesn’t really matter where I enter her. As long as we are both in the throes of pleasure.

It has been quite the week with everything that is going on. Things seem to be going sour in certain places but I’m trying to stay positive. I took the notary test in my state and I have to wait at least 2 weeks for the results. I’ve also been looking into law school A LOT. I have plenty to say on that topic so it will be a separate post.

I would like to add that I make periodic changes on my blog. If you decide to return in the future, this post and even others may be completely different. Sometimes I get inspiration after I publish and I’m like “oh crap, I should’ve added that”. I do what I do on here. It’s one of the few things I have complete control over. Life on the other hand…that’s another story for a different day. Thanks for reading.

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*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

Heart Growing Cold…

As the days go by and I see myself spending more time alone, I’ve come to the realization that people have thrown me to the wayside like a piece of trash multiple moments in my life. How can it be so easy to walk away from me and not look back? I’ve come across some very interesting personalities. I’ll never forget some that have stumbled onto my path…it’s just some that leave an impression on your heart…the memories that never fade…at least that don’t in my mind. For others, those times appear simply trash, nothing worth holding dearly. Walking away for me is the hardest because I always believe something is worth salvaging. When will my heart grow cold?

*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.

Post Hysto Update

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If you’re looking to just read about my hysterectomy skip a couple paragraphs down “Into the Nitty Gritty”.

I’ve been real lazy with updating this blog as of late. I’ll say to myself “you’ll have time later” while I make time for everything else but writing lol. I haven’t been procrastinating with my work though. I completed my first full time semester in some years with a 3.825 gpa a couple of weeks ago.

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I asked my significant other to marry me and I have no regrets. She said YES! I know we will go far in our relationship due to our mindset to be better. She motivates me to be the best man I can be and I will do right by her. I can’t let US down.

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I had a very bad reaction to either this seafood or my testosterone which I had for about 5-6 months. My eye swelled up really bad like I had a shiner. It has so far went down and the swelling is almost gone. I will take my t again next week after I speak with my doctor. I believe it was this shrimp that I had in my black rice. I had a dream a while back where I broke out into hives after eating some of these sea creatures. I don’t really dabble with seafood and won’t be now for a very long time.

Now Into the Nitty Gritty…

So I arrived at Bronx Lebanon Hospital on January 6th around 6:45 in the morning to check in for the surgery. I had the robotic procedure completed by Dr. Ami J. Shah. The staff pre op was so nice. I was not misgendered at all and I was able to talk to a few members of my surgeons team. The anesthesiologist was a very upbeat funny dude. He told me he was going to take care of me and asked me a multitude of questions about my medical background. I signed my life away to the hospital before I was taken to the OR room. I am no novice to surgery as I had my top surgery done a few years back which you can look at here. I was just extra anxious this time. I didnt want to have to have surgery. I was scared and angry at GOD for putting me through this and not giving me my male body to begin with. I thought about the other surgeries I would have to have to feel whole. I think I had a mini panic attack before I calmed down and gave myself a pep talk. “One day at a time” I kept telling myself till I was off into Lala land with no turning back.

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I woke up a couple hours later in the recovery area. My mom came to visit me some time later to let me know I had no complications during the surgery which was great news. I just felt like crap. My stomach felt extremely bloated and stretched out. I asked the nurse for some medicine which she injected into my iv and I felt instant relief. I didn’t get to ask what it was and didn’t care as long as it worked. I’m assuming this was morphine. My doctor reserves a bed to stay overnight pending any complications which I did not have but I was shipped upstairs anyway because that’s what the paperwork showed. I was feeling out of it so I welcomed staying overnight and almost agreed to it when I got up there. Here’s where it gets crazy. I was misgendered numerous times and I’m like okay guys “I know I’m not your first transgender patient…CUT IT OUT!”. I corrected this particular nurse multiple times even after she asked what I preferred to be addressed as. After a couple of hours my fiancé surprised me by showing up to the hospital. She couldn’t get the day off but she came early and I can say it lifted my spirits up really high. Dr. Shah finally came up after she was finished with a couple other surgeries and told me to go home. I was cleared hours later after a fiasco I’d rather not go into at this time. I’m just happy to be another step closer to my dream of feeling complete. I want the ALT phalloplasty which I talk about here.

I will not be pursuing bottom surgery for awhile till I can get on the right insurance plan that will pay my surgeon in full. I was hoping I won power ball so I could go and get my surgery done asap but that didn’t happen so I’ll just have to be patient. I am on my school break for a couple more weeks so I have time to heal up.

My first week of healing has been uneventful minus some constipation and soreness. I took Milk of Magnesia to help with the gas and movement. It worked really well for me to get things going. I felt like I did 1000 situps and the gas pain hurt all the way down, but nonetheless the pain was manageable. So far I’m getting back to my normal routine minus the lifting of anything more then 10 pounds. The doc put me on restriction from all the things I love. I cannot work out which I’m dying to do. I have about 5 more weeks till I’m cleared hopefully to my wave. I’ll update more later as I heal up. Thanks for reading.

*If you’re looking for transition related material click here.

*If you’re interested in my Entrepreneurial endeavors, take the next step here.