Dead Weight

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It has been a minute since I’ve posted and I can tell you life has been hectic. Right now though I’m in a very good place. I’ve never felt this great in my life. I’ve been dropping all the dead weight and I can tell you it has been instant zen. Negativity will only attach itself to you if you allow it into your presence and life through the form of people and things. I have decluttified my closet and my life. So called friends and family will not be allowed to get into my head and affect all of the progress I have made these last few months.
Midterms have come and gone and now we are moving into the final half of the semester. I am passing all my classes and doing my thing.

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So as you can see I had a great birthday. It was about 2 weeks ago and I’m still celebrating. Anyway my sweetheart made sure she was available to be with me for my special day. I was taken out for food and drinks in the city and I can tell you it was nothing short of amazing. The feelings that I have been experiencing are coming from a place that even I am failing to be able to analyze. I am usually able to control my emotions and get a grasp of what’s going on internally but not this time. I never thought someone like this could exist. I thought I would just have to settle with what I had because no one’s perfect…until I met her. She’s my heart doctor nursing all my wounds and patching me up. I’ve never met someone so giving, caring and she LISTENS to what I have to say.

I was told by this special woman “you’ve been hurt so bad that you can’t see when you have something good right in front of you”. My heart has no doubt been broken into tiny little pieces that I’m still trying to pull together. My last relationships have left me with unbelievable insecurities. In my last relationship, I felt very alone if not abandoned in what was supposed to be my future everything. I would feel very ugly and insignificant because of the lack of love and affection I used to receive. My ex was a snake that drained me of my energy. I love very hard in my relationships and I expect a certain level of a return when putting out my all. I’m not worried about that anymore as my goals come into fruition. I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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