I do not plan to really get to deep about my personal relationships with people in my life on this blog. I do want to explain how I deal with my Long Distance Relationship. Yes I am in one with a very special woman who will remain nameless on this blog. She will be called L for privacy purposes.
I can tell you at first I was very skeptical of this type of dating as I have heard horror stories of “fetishers and perverts” who lurk on many websites for people of transgender experience. I was very open to just finding a nice girl to talk to and maybe even kick it with in my first summer of being single in a long time. I spoke to people like myself who were looking for love and I was told to try websites like Plenty of Fish and Match to name a couple but I was not interested in making a dating profile. So I turned to Facebook and started to search for ftm groups to see what others suggested. I ran into a closed group for guys like myself and people who admired them and I joined. I started to play the daily games that they had and read many of the heated post during the day about trans and life issues. Then I found her. I saw this girl who would always be the “troublemaker” or otherwise person in the group who didn’t always agree with what everyone was saying type of chick. I saw her beautiful smile on the tiny icon on my phone and added her as a friend. I swore her profile said ‘Born in Brooklyn‘ until under closer examination, I found her to live in a completely different state. We started to chat on a daily basis and we were vibing pretty good so her distance was not really a factor in the beginning. As it would seem life seemed to have set this up , puzzle pieces fit together along the way. She has family who live in my neighborhood so we were able to meet up and the rest is history. Fast forward hours of phone conversations, web chats and personal visits, we are now after a year of time in a full blown relationship. Many people quickly say “oh I couldn’t possibly do that” or “What about insert need or want here“. Negativity usually follows in the conversation when it comes to something like this but it never phases me. I was pretty open to change at that point in my life so I decided to move forward with dating. I jumped headfirst into this as I have never met anyone who had ever done this.
How does something like this work?
Here are some things that we have incorporated into our relationship that has so far kept us afloat:
Whenever there is an issue, we talk about it. If that means we argue so be it. We live to fight another day. As long as we are still in a relationship that’s all that matters. We also talk a lot on the phone. It is a good way to build trust because you need a hell of a lot of that in order to make it through the day. The website Loving from a Distance really helped a lot in terms of advice and things to spice it up.
Sleeping on the phone every night and playing games while video chatting are ways we create memories with each other. It has been one of staples of our relationship
This is usually the main issue i hear people complain about the most. “How do you not cheat? Well if you really care about someone and their feelings you won’t stray. You will learn other ways to deal. I have read about people who use the video chat to do many a things. Technology can be a great resource nowadays to keeping your junk in the trunk and keeping yourself safe. I used Hoocymail a lot in the beginning of our relationship. I learned to use my imagination to make it work.
So far everything is going well. I can only leave the rest to life to control for me. I hope and wish for the best in my life just like everyone else. All you can do is have faith. I do miss my girlfriend but I keep myself busy working out and getting my life together to help pass the time until we see each other. Keeping my cool and taking life a day at a time helps me with my own problems and relationships with people in my life.
If anyone has any more ideas or tips for long distance relationships, I am all ears to what you have to say because improvements can always be made.
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