I have realized that a lot of what I felt before in the past blogs about people and things around me from years ago have not changed and I only have myself to blame for a lot of it. I also saw a lot of mention to my ex and realize I still have a lot of manning up to do in the department of love. I realized today that a lot of my self esteem came from her and not from within myself which is something that I realize I no longer look for in any type of relationships whether it be love or friendship. For my current and future love L….. I see great promise in our relationship and wish for it to go further. I am looking for no other as I want to settle down and marry this country girl. I think that is one of the things that initially attracted me to her in the first place. I wasn’t so happy with our differences in location at first as she lives in a different state but it turned out to be a great thing. I like the fact that she doesn’t have the tendencies of many of these NYC chicks who just be so ghetto and obnoxious. I can talk to my girl about politics, life goals and it don’t hurt that shes bad too. She’s thick and I love every curve on her body as it is all mine for me to touch, lick and do as I please.
As a man I feel I need to be able to provide for my future wife financially, physically and mentally so getting my life together is a must. I realize that I will not have my bottom surgery according to the timeline I originally wanted but it is okay as life does not always go as planned. I have had top surgery which I realized I forgot to mention and I love every minute of being boobless. It has been the most relieving ever of my gender dysphoria and I do not regret it at all. I know I will have everything I want real soon I can feel it.
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