Triumph

So today I gave myself my T shot. Just me writing this is surreal to me because I was fucking petrified to give myself that shot. I sat… smoked some weed and then I took the needle and got it ready.  I got in the shower and washed myself up then went and sat in the chair in my room. I looked at that needle with fear and anticipation because I was not one to inflict pain on myself. I had to poke myself 3 or 4 times, had blood come out followed by me wiping the spot with alcohol about 20 times before  I could even get the needle close by my skin again. I would keep saying to myself “How can you be a man and you can’t even poke yourself with this needle?”. “Why is this so hard?” over and over again for about 30 minutes. I would look at my gf and think to wake her up to tell her to do it for me but I looked at the needle and finally did it. I felt my skin breaking around the needle and the quick sting of my flesh being invaded. I then pulled the syringe up to check for blood and then injected the T. It hurt like hell for 2 seconds while I pushed my thumb down and watched the liquid going into my body.  I cannot even explain the feeling after I finished giving myself the shot. After it was over I felt accomplished and a wave of relief went through me as I realized it wasn’t that bad. Now I am writing this blog and the spot where I injected less then a hour ago is becoming sore and is nothing more but a mere memory.

I never thought I would be injecting myself with a needle when I was 22 years old. Seems like life has its own plans for me and not the other way around. As changes start to accelerate I will write them on here to keep my own progress as well as for the anyone who reads this who may be interested in transition or just bored looking for interesting read. Well back to reality.

Peace is Love

-TJ

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