Reality…porn

Supernatural is one of my favorite shows and Dean is my guy. I feel like I can relate to him in terms of stubbornness and using alcohol (well I don’t really drink I smoke) to numb some of the painful experiences I’ve had. I have come to know life as one long moment in time that I’m supposed to leave my mark but then what? What happens after that? I pray for eternal life with my immediate family and soul mate. I pray for happiness in my soul.

I wish that I was born a boy. I know that statement is random but its how I feel and it’s what this blog is for. I have sex with my girlfriend and it’s so good. I mean honestly there is no word to put on the experience I have with my wifey but I know it can be taken to the next level if I had a penis. I want to feel her insides…I want to feel her pussy opening and closing around my dick…I want to thrust deep inside her and give her what any cisgender male could…a baby.  It hurts my heart and soul just thinking that we can’t conceive a child together because I love her so much and would want her to give birth to my kid when we are mature enough.

April is almost over and I couldn’t be happier. If my labs come back good I can start T on May 23. I’m so looking forward to my first shot and to being reborn into the person I should’ve been from the get-go. Everything happens for a reason I guess huh?

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